July 5, 2009
Mountain Software Writer
I treat the Mind as if Software. I believe this advances self psychology in a practical way not possible before the development of computers. New metaphors equals new insights. Nevertheless, that does not mean the old ones were wrong, only that thy were written in the archaic code of their time and place.
Filed under: SELF HELP SEARCH, self-analysis — admin @ 8:24 pm 07/5/09 E-Mail from: Mountain Software Writer//To fateanalysisguy@gmail
The feed back from my Jane Russell (18 hour bra) dream was-mostly from guys telling me (as expected) “..go find yourself a Jane’. Come on guys- real life is more complicated than that.
The two puzzling hair styles on one Jane Russell, in the dream, drew several insightful interpretations.
1. My love object desire has split preferences - plane seductive and curly cute, both provocative and potentially tormenting.
2. Some Freudian transposition of hair from usually hidden places of the body. Important as my libido stimulators.
3. Mirror image of my female side persona.
4. Some childhood image transition not fully accomplished as an adult.
5. Oedipal Complex, with a possible hair fetish as its symptom.
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05/31/09
E-Mail from: Mountain Software Writer//To fateanalysisguy@gmail
Part of my revisions to my revised contract with myself was to report in monthly. Here it is May 31 and I have to push myself to do so before the month ends. Also this month I have forced myself to write my dreams down before they slip away. A set of dreams immediately followed. They make me face things I would just as soon avoid.
Dream #1
A dream about the death of my mother, one that I am not comforable to talk about this even though the event was several years ago.
Just in case you think I am just a horny guy that lays this on you for the hell of it, above top is my photo of the page in my dream book. Back when I went to live with my aunt K. I really enjoyed those TV commercials for the 18 hour bras that Jane Russell starred in. That speaks for itself. What I do not understand is the strange hair business?
Don’t be afraid to send me your interpretation. You are my external analyst. The other, I have transference to. [See July-You Guys wow me!]
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Mountain Software Writer
February 21, 2009
Update from a Self-Analyst: “I fight the resistance in every strip of code, my self-analysis uncovers–”
11:32 pm from: Mountain Software Writer//To fateanalysisguy@gmail.com
February….I’m back- I’ve covered approximate 20, 45 minute Self-Analysis sessions, thus sticking fairly close to my contract with myself. Reaching the depth level free association process described, as essential for self-analysis (as defined by Karen Horney) It was not always possible for me in some sessions. In addition, I know I dream almost every night, but was able to capture in awareness and later write down only a couple each week. These were generally useful.. At the end of each session, I make a summary of anything that I can attribute to resistance or mood detection. . My method of doing so is partly based on my experience as a software writer, where at the end of writing several pages of code, I must run the code to discover what does not perform correctly, and locate what ever ‘bugs’ that caused it’s malfunctions. Some pages debug simply, others seem impossible and you know you have resistant work ahead of you. I ask myself how did this session go, and how do I feel about the section of code I am exploring. Is new code presenting itself and is the problem inherent in it do to the legacy code that rules over all subsequent code. Or later family set code? Just how neurotic does it make when aberrant unwanted code runs? Other may be more comfortable with different metaphors, but as they read this they can say to themselves-”How would I say something like that to myself?” and they will find their own way of talking to themselves without being considered crazy. The concept of resistance in my self-analysis (for me anyway) draws on this model. Some sessions I feel inclined to skip and ask myself if this self assigned ‘extra self torment’ is worth the effort. As no one waits for any answer. My friends and myself like me- (I think) more or less as I am? Is not this kind of thinking none other than ‘bugs’ in my brains software? And this not also resistance in my self analysis?. Some say self-analysis is impossible to do. I still want to try. Next time I will explain my use of the basic navigation system that shows me to what fate my drives are moving me.
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—MOUNTAIN SOFTWARE WRITER,January 18, 2009
Update from a Self-Analyst
Filed under: SELF HELP SEARCH — Tags: free association, FREUD, self-help, self. self-analysis — admin @ 12:21 am 01/16/09 E-Mail from: Mountain Software Writer//To fateanalysisguy@gmail
Just a note to let you know my Self-Analysis is progressing far better than I even expected. The 45 min sessions got to be a drag at about session 10. I see now see why you discouraged me from the two hour runs I thought would be a breeze. Also achieving a authentic depth level of free association did not kick in until I forced myself to stick to the plan whiter I felt like it or not. I imagined Freud with a an old time razor strap popping me one when I considered chucking it all. (My father tells me his father old country style actually ’strapped’ him. Some ancestor stuff here I think!) I am writing my dreams to file and then saving them for the evening appointment, I make with myself. One of my recurring dreams is: I am in a park-like place and get off my bike and feel frustrated when I discover I forgot or lost my laptop and can not get to work on it. I interpret this as representing both me in the self-analysis and my actual work world. I will try to get an update next month.
-Mountain Software Writer Guy
PS: Having fun with the Free “Szondi Test” I never believed any thing that looks so dumb could give me so many clues about myself.
* MOUNTAIN SOFTWARE WRITER GUY AND HIS EMAILS ARE “COMPOSITE FICTION” USED TO INTRODUCE SOME CONTENT. The statments are based on reprsentative discusions.
