Mountain Software Writer: "Swimming Pool Dream"

10/03/09 E-Mail from: Mountain Software Writer//To fateanalysisguy@gmail Hi All! I am beginnings to see a new thread running through the art gallery dream, it did not occur to directly, but followed a twisted route through my free associations that touched on several touchy points in my personality related to living up to the image I want to project to others and my guilt over recognizing how much better I would have to be to really be the nice, charming, helpful, (and superior of course) son, boyfriend, employee, consultant. I would never have believed a few months ago, that I had in me, any hidden touchiness, over some ancient issues that now threatened to unmask my exaggerated image of my self. I have come to detect behind all this that I felt that others somehow know this and automatically try not to stir up my sore spots. There were some others however who seemed to aim dead on at every sore or weak spot in my character armor. In this respect, I had self diagnosed myself as semi-paranoid!! This thread of self-analysis now grew even more painful, when I turned up repressed childhood memories of wounded pride, anger, and quick blaming others. Also some symptomatic and self-defeating behaviors, most of which related to testing the limits of relations to my parents and teachers in my early school years, (my father says I was in into everything, every minute!- too bad they didn't have Ritalin then!) I seem to have by the fourth grade suppressed this unsettling behavior and appeared adapted or at least comfortable with myself, my parents and school from then on. As an experiment I printed out my Art Gallery dream and had a friend play the role of analyst while I lie on the couch, a la Freud and read each sentence, one at time and then I free associated to just this content until I felt I had reached some end point. I see where this process works some different than when you attempt do the same thing by yourself. This also was a repeat on the same dream I had gone through in my self-session. The results were remarkably more productive of content relating to issues of my childhood and brought the problem of my character mask to my attention. I am now growing uncomfortable about continuing spilling my guts before my well meaning, but amateur psychologist friend. Should I do this again?

New dream, I am at a picnic or recreation place, one very inviting, nicely laid out, many choices of activities. There were families with children and groups of young adults in view at the different sections. The swimming pool looks the most inviting and there was a places where for a small free you can rent the use of a bathing suit, a towel .and a locker key for storing your clothes. I change into the sort of drab one size fit all suit. As I am by myself, I look around for those my age. They seem to be in small groups with each group maintaining connection with only its own members. There is splashing, yelling in mock water fights, arms legs moving all in fun. I feel left out and look for the entrance to the water slide tower, where pulses of water push you down a twisting trough. This looks like fun and I do so, and end in the part of the pool area where a wave machine sends a large wave every five minutes. When I arrive down there, I see many young people spread out across the pool expanse, waiting for the next wave. They all are wearing flotation devices and wait for the recurring big waves. I have no flotation thing and must stay afloat by my own actions, so after the first wave I swim to shallow water and stand on my feet. There are many children here and I stand out and feel out of place and leave by the nearest ladder, Once out, I see I am near the pool's heating and wave making machine room, The door is partly open and I look in with curiosity for time and then move on. I remember my money is in the locker and cannot buy a soda at the soda stand. I spot some coins on the ground-I feel a flush of expectation and am quickly disappointed as it is two quarters and at the stand a soda costs a $1.00.

Thanks Al,l for your input- Send me your comments and interpretations to fateanalysisguy@gmail.com Be sure to put 'Swimming Pool Dream' in the subject bar. You Guys and Gals, are so smart!